This is my PS3.

There are some like it, but this one is MINE.

My PS3 is my best friend. It is my life.

I must master it as I must master my life.

My PS3 without me is useless. Without my PS3, I am useless.

I must fire my virtual rifles true.

I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me.

I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will…

My PS3 and myself know that what counts in war is not the virtual rounds we fire,

the noise of our fans, nor the heat we release.

We know it is the hits that count. We will have hits…

My PS3 is human, even as I, because it is my life.

Thus, I will learn it as a brother.

I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts, its accessories,
its controllers, and its connectors.

I will ever guard it against the ravages of wear and damage.

I will keep my PS3 clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.

We will become part of each other. We will…

Before God I swear this creed.

My PS3 and myself are the defenders of my virtual country.

We are the masters of our pixelated enemies.

We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until there is no enemy, but ebay price gouging. ;)