Translating old jokes to the modern era.

· 356 words · 2 minute read
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT:
Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO:
Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm
thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT:
Mac?
COSTELLO:
No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT:
Your computer?
COSTELLO:
I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT:
Mac?
COSTELLO:
I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT:
What about Windows?
COSTELLO:
Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT:
Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO:
I don't know. What will I see when I look at the
windows?
ABBOTT:
Wallpaper.
COSTELLO:
Never mind the windows I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT:
Software for Windows?
COSTELLO:
No. On the computer! I need something I can use to
write Proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT:
Office.
COSTELLO:
Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT:
I just did.
COSTELLO:
You just did what?
ABBOTT:
Recommend something.
COSTELLO:
You recommended something?
ABBOTT:
Yes.
COSTELLO:
For my office?
ABBOTT:
Yes.
COSTELLO:
OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT:
Office.
COSTELLO:
Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT:
I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO:
I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just
say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I
need?
ABBOTT:
Word.
COSTELLO:
What word?
ABBOTT:
Word in Office.
COSTELLO:
The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT:
The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO:
Which word in office for Windows?
ABBOTT:
The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
COSTELLO:
I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start
with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have
anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT:
Money.
COSTELLO:
That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT:
Money.
COSTELLO:
I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT:
It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO:
What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT:
Money.
COSTELLO:
Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT:
Yes, No extra charge.
COSTELLO:
I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT:
One copy.
COSTELLO:
Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT:
Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO:
They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT:
Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT:
Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO:
How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT:
Click on "START".......
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